Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
