Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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