i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize