When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
