I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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