Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
