Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
