But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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