I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hippo gnu deer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
