Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize