I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
