Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
