she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
