Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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