Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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