Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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