some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize