Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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