just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
