Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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