so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
