I faked an abortion last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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