i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize