I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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