i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
