is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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