Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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