the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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