i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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