if you like me you must not know who I am
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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