I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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