i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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