He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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