Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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