Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
