The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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