i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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