You're so nebulous sometimes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize