just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
