Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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