At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
