I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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