the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
