right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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