I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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