Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
