I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize