Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
