it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
