so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
