I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
