my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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