dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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