just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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