just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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