She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
