Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
