if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
