Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
