You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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